Dear Jiji

Dear Jiji,

I'm writing to let you know that while you were away on vacation I've been riding with MJ's, Kyle's, and Lana's Mom to pick up the boys from school. Let me clarify that I was just a passenger.

I know you keep your car spotless. You being a nurse, I'm not surprised with this obsession of yours. So whatever the rules are on the roads...

... we followed. See?

You should be getting back to Truk right about now, and I'll close with a word of caution. You should make sure to definitely, most absolutely heed the time on your dashboard clock, especially when you're on duty, and a patient is desperately waiting for your arrival.

Because I got bored of waiting for MJ's Mom while she went into the bank, and played with the little buttons marked "H" and "M" despite Miko's Mom admonishing me. Those little red numbers are now within seconds of the World Atomic Clock.

Just sayin'...


Yours Truly,
Your Cousin

Serious Boy Talk

You've seen what happens on the way home from school... Boy talk and more boy talk.

Now see what happens at home after school...

When I was the boys' age we had volley balls, beach balls, basket balls, baseball balls, chi-chintori,  kick-the-can outdoors, and once in a while when our parents weren't watching, fishing on the airport runway. Today the boys have cable TV and the Internet, all in air conditioned rooms, regardless of whether or not their parents are watching.

Today they were drawing smiley face icons from the WWW.

What's with the tongue?

Kyle was imitating his drawings. 

I was amazed to see Jeimax actually stay put long enough to draw.

See the pachingko? Jeimax doesn't keep still (unless he gets sick). He's always moving. The way he's hanging on to that sling shot made me wonder if he'd been outside just before I got there.

Miko, being the oldest of the bunch played Big Brother to all of them. In fact, Miko would make a great big brother. As innocent as he is, he teaches his younger cousins the facts of [an eleven-year-old's] life.

 

I will write the rest in Visayan in case any non-Pinoys who don't get the Bisdak humor are reading this.

MJ: pisot pa ko. Pero, i-tuli na ko inig ka fourth grade na nako.

Kyle & Jeimax: Heheheh, hohohoh, hahahah...

Miko: pag hangad aron dili ka ka-kita, kay talig kujawon ka!

MJ: dili ko mo sugot ug injiksyon, spri lang ako! Miko, unsa diay imoha?

Miko: injiksyon, pero kadali lang kaajo ang sakit, mura ug pina-akan sa amigas.

MJ: nganong kaybawo ka, gi-paak diay ka ug amigas sa imoha?

Kyle & Jeimax: Heheheheheh, hohohohohoh, hahahahahah!

MJ: pa-tanawa ko sa imoha... oy! Mura'g layon!

Jeimax: mura'g bulaklak!

All: Hahahahahahahahahahah! Hohohohohohohohohoh! Heheheheheheheheheheh!

Their conversations get so serious that even MJ begins to scratch his head in wonderment.

Hahahahahah! Heheheheheh! Hohohohohoh!

Every now and then, a parent came up to see what all the laughter was about.

Jeimax's Mom: Jeimax breaths, eats, and loves Garfield. I don't get it.

The next instant the boys attacked the toys.

No matter how old, what grade, or who's watching, boys will be boys!

Kyle: Auntie Netty, would you like a cup of tea?

Seriously!

More Boy Talk

MJ's, Kyle's, and Lana's Mom continued to bring me along when she picked up the boys from school. The entourage grew to include Miko's Mom and MJ's best friend Edson.

It was during these drives that I learned that Jeimax's favorite subject is spelling. Kyle's is math. MJ's is English. Miko's is science. Such a nice diversity. So imagine the topics that arise in the 45 minutes that it took to drive from the village of Neauo to Iras.

The CD playing was a hip hop mix which included Justin Bieber's Eenie Meenie, a song about being a transformer, and many more that I'd never even heard before. The boys sang along, changed the tracks to each of their favorites, and sang some more.

Then a pig, a brindle coated pig, crossed the street. And immediately conversation ensued.

Miko: When I was in America a bear crossed the street where we lived!

Kyle: Was it a big bear?

Miko: I don't know. I didn't see it.

MJ: (confused) Then how did you know a bear crossed the street?

Miko: Duh! Because it was on the radio. 

Jeimax: (in his squeaky voice) And what did the bear do?

MJ: And then he runrunrunrunrunrun ehhhh, and then he jumpjumpjumpjumpjump ehhhh, and then [flings his arms over his head as if he were swatting away a swarm of bees] ahhhhhhhhhh, and then [claps his hands together] boom!

All the boys: Hahahahahahahah! Hohohohohohoh! Heheheheheheh!

MJ's story was recited in Trukese slang, with thickest corresponding accent. If it were in Trukese, it would have been: iwe a sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa eh! Iwe a mwet-mwet-mwet-mwet-mwet-mwet-mwet-mwet eh! For those of you for whom the Trukese language is completely alien, the Trukese language expresses extraordinary effort or duration by repeating the verb. So, in Trukese terms the bear RAN VERY LONG AND HARD, and JUMPED MANY TIMES. And who knows what the arm twirling was. And lastly, the big bang, it could have been anything from the bear hitting a wall to it collapsing in exhaustion.

What was so funny? I didn't get it. 

Boy talk!

Phat Tomorrow

Six months ago I met Padre Lito at the Fiesta of Santa Filomena. I liked him a lot. We sat at the table and talked for hours. So of course I was very excited to speak to him again when I saw him at early Sunday mass.

But alas, when he came to greet us (I was with Pa B and Ma K), he barely glanced at me with a quick "maajong buntag," and ignored me while he carried on with everyone else.

That's it? Just good morning? No how've you been, good to see you again!?

Then he asked Pa B how I was doing.

"Oh," exclaimed Pa B. "Have you not met Netty?" He gestured toward me.

"Netty?" Padre Lito looked  confused. "Is that you?!" Now he looked aghast. "Oh, I couldn't recognize you; you're fat now!"

*Oh boy.*

*I'm fat.*

*Not "phat".*

*FAT.*

How depressing! So of course as soon as I got home, I ate two bibinkas, a dozen fried buwads, accompanied by a heaping plate of rice to tame the saltiness, half a can of Spam, two full glasses of whole milk, three pan de sals for good measure, and last night's leftover Pepsi to wash it all down.

Burrrrp! Ah, that felt better.

Now, to burn all that off.

I thought I'd wait till I got back to Truk. There's a gym there that hasn't been used in years, and I figured I'll make up for all the bibinkas and pan de sals with a hard core two-hour routine everyday till I leave for the Mainland.

First day back in Truk: I went to the gym. It was undoubtedly unused for years. Rust encrusted the dumbell rack and the dumbells, and the corner seams of the Smith machine. 

"Well," I said to myself. "I'll work out tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll help clean up."

Second day back in Truk: ugh! It rained. I needed a good meal to give me energy.

In fact, I took the whole B1 gang with me so that I didn't feel so guilty. Lunch at Lei Side on me!

Tomorrow I'll hit the gym hard!

Tomorrow...

Louie

Every now and then my nephew Louie and his parents come to visit us in Bohol. What's nice about this place is that Louie can be a "big boy" and buy stuff from street vendors without the dangers of city traffic. Take this cake vendor, for instance. He was selling cake of three flavors: ube, buko pandan, and plain (yellow, I guess?).

And Louie runs home with his change and stash.

Blessings Under a New Moon

If you're Filipino and Catholic, and you live on an island connected to Bohol by a pocked causeway you're blessed.

Literally. Everything you come in contact with, be it your car, your house, the grotto in your backyard...

The requirements for a blessing: 

1. Candles.

2. Family

  

3. Friends and neighbors.

4. An awesome priest.

5. And almost essentially, food.

And how lovely when all that happens in the light of a new moon.