Ain't No Way!

James spent the day with me yesterday. He hadn't had his chance to "wake up" before getting dropped off, and so,  just like adults who don't get their beauty rest, three year olds can get ugly too.

I noticed James chewing on something crunchy, which was also making his saliva red. In his hands was a bag of Halls cough drops. He let me take the bag from him, but threw a sudden tantrum when I refused to give him another piece of candy. 

If you want to be technical, I equate cough drops and candy to be the same thing. 

And there ain't no way I'm letting this baby eat candy for breakfast. 

So I carried this screaming, crying, limp noodle of a baby into the kitchen and sat him on the countertop. (We don't have any furniture, remember?) Ain didn't tell me if James had had breakfast yet, so I assumed he hadn't. He refused to eat the oatmeal I was having, but he obliged me with a few bites of Alfonsina's home canned pears. And immediately started crying "caaaaaandy!" 

"Eat your pear first, then I'll give you candy," I explained. 

But he was beyond reasoning to at the point. Or, he just thought he could get his way with me. 

Sorry pal, ain't no way I'm letting a three-year old manipulate me!

Then he started calling the "I want my mommeeeeeeeee!" card. 

Fine. I got the phone, and told him "Let's call Mommy."

He pushed the phone away and cried some more. "I want my mommeeeeeeee! Mommy... my candeeeeeeeee!" Apparently he didn't want his mommy as bad as he wanted that candy. "Waaaaaaaaaah!" he kept screaming. 

"What did you say?" I asked him. "I don't understand you. I can't hear what you're trying to say." Which just made him scream louder. 

AIN'T NO WAY I'M LETTING A THREE YEAR OLD MANIPULATE ME! I kept telling myself. 

And then he laid down, on the countertop...

And fell asleep!

But of course he woke up when I picked him up, and resumed the ear-piercing "I want my mommeeeeeee!"

So I put him down. "When you're done crying, you can finish your pears, and then we'll go out to play."

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he cried. He went to his daybag and ransacked it. I'm guessing he was looking for the bag of candy because when he saw that there was no candy there he started up again with "I want my mommeeeeeeeeee!"

So I sat next to him, and let him have his tantrum while I picked at my cuticles. 

In a few minutes, he fell asleep.

This time, I left him alone, and went into the office to get on Facebook. I kid, I kid! I had work to do; Cousin Din had just sent me an order for another container.

And here came James, looking all sorry and bleary eyed. He climbed into my chair with me.

And fell asleep.

And stayed asleep when I put him down on his makeshift cot next to my chair. 

He woke up with a sob. To nip the impending tantrum in the bud, I immediately got our shoes and coats on, and went out to do some errands on foot. We walked all the way to the bank, where he sat in his own chair next to me, trying to be as poised and attentive as I was as I spoke with the manager. 

Then we sat on the sidewalk counting cars and calling out their colors.

Then we went to the track, and raced a woman with her stroller. We lost.

Then we went to the skateboard park, and watched a kid do his tricks.

Then we chased crows off of the soccer field. 

An hour later, we went home. 

We ate lunch.

Then we brushed our teeth together... 

in front of the mirror, laughing at our reflections.

Then we did call his mom, and left her a lovely message.

He never asked for the candy again. 

And we lived happily ever after.

AIN'T NO WAY I'M LETTING A THREE YEAR OLD MANIPULATE ME!

But I'm kicking myself for not taking my camera with me on our walking errand!