It seems that I have known Alfonsina and Miss H. forever. We all live within 3 minutes drive of each other, so we've done practically everything together.
Playing dress-up.
Playing tea-party.
Camping.
Hiking.
Sometimes we fight.
Most of the times we laugh.
All of the time we love.
And when times get a little boring, we play pranks on each other.
Last week I received a strange message from Miss H. "Uh, hello? Netty... Um, I heard that you ran out of gas, and that Alfonsina is coming on the rescue. If you need me at all, just call... Ummm, ok, bye..."
I didn't call her back.
But later that day I was at Alfonsina's house, helping her prepare dinner. Burgers. Yummm!
"I received a message from Miss H. today, something about me running out of gas..."
I didn't even finish retelling the message when Alfonsina cut me off. "I can't believe she actually called you!" See, what happened was, Alfonsina was driving home when she received a phone call from Miss H.
"What are you doing?" asked Miss H.
"Driving."
"Where are you going?"
"Home."
"What are you doing when you get home?"
At this point, Alfonsina was exasperated. "I'm going home to get a can of gas for my friend who ran out of gas."
"Who's your friend?"
"Does it matter?"
"I want to know who your friend is."
"I'm not telling you who my friend is, it's none of your business."
"Is it Netty?"
"I'm not telling you."
"I can just call her and find out, so why don't you just tell me?"
"Go ahead and call whoever you want to call, I'm not telling you who my friend in need is!"
Thus, the strange message on my answering machine.
Alfonsina, flabbergasted at Miss H's persistence, declared "We are going to teach her a lesson in minding your own business!" She had me dial Miss H's number, and here's how the call went:
"Miss H? Have you heard from Alfonsina today?"
"As a matter of fact I did."
"Are you able to get a hold of her? I ran out of gas, and she was supposed to bring me a gallon of gas over two hours ago!"
"I knew it was you!"
"Anyway, can you come pick me up?"
"Oh sure. Where are you?"
"Are you ready, do you have something to write with? Here's the address..." I proceeded to recite Alfonsina's address, number for number, and even spelled the street name.
"Isn't that on Alfonsina's block?"
Alfonsina and I busted our guts laughing silently. We couldn't believe that Miss H. didn't get the prank. To save our prank, I quickly replied "my battery is low, come... get... m-..." Click.
Ten minutes later, Miss H hadn't showed up. Alarmed that she might actually be at the gas station filling up a can of gas, I called her.
"Where are you? My blood sugar level is going down. Can you bring some cheese?"
"I have string mozarella..."
"No, I like cheddar." Alfonsina didn't have any cheeze for the burgers, and how wonderful it would be that Miss H. could bring some.
"Alright, I have cheese. And let me grab my lawnmover gas can, I think it's half full."
"No, don't! Um... uh... My car takes diesel. That's right, diesel! So can you just hurry with the cheese, I'm starving, I've been waiting here forever!"
"I'm on my way!" Fifteen minutes later she finally arrived, greeted by Alfonsina herself at the front gate. She brought cheddar cheese alright, but it was shredded, the only cheddar she had in the house. She also brought some salsa and a bottle of water. "Uh, is Netty here?" she asked as she looked for the house number to confirm that she was at the address I gave her.
"No," said Alfonsina. "I haven't seen her all day!"
But when she saw the burgers on the grill, the plates, the beverages, and the fire going, she realized that she just got punk'd!
We ate, drank, chatted up a storm, chewed on Rasberry Twizzlers, and smoked cigars with the guys.
THE END.
And greeting the new year, and the new year, and the new year... for more than ten years now.
